"I mean, I suppose I will go either way, but I would really prefer if there were some sort of schedule of arranged drinking activities for us to abide by." 

Of course, this is ambitious at best. We probably won't get a keg because we're, you know, pushing thirty years old (or, already there, for some of us) and I believe there will only be maybe seven of us, max, participating in this fiasco. But if we can get our hands on some tricyles? It's on. And the rest of the stuff? I'll enlighten you.

1. The Beer Boob Relay

So, if you Google "Outdoor Drinking Games", this is the first image on the second site that pops up:



Coed Magazine has some good tips (click through to read), but most are typical lawn-games that you'd expect. Also, they do not provide any insight on whatever lovely game this woman seems to be playing with her Australian Beeyah, but I would presume it is some sort of relay race where you most hold the beer with your boobs. Or something. Make up your own rules, here, people.

2. Polish Horseshoes

This was played last time we were down at Justin's, as you can see here. Brothers Corey and Kyle assume a defensive stance and guard their post with intent:



When this was played on the fourth of July, the boys literrally took a solid fifteen to twenty minutes to review the rules of the game with each other. This resulted in Courtney and I being thoroughly disgusted with the whole thing and not playing, so I cannot enlighten you to the rules. However, this is how the aforementioned Coed Magazine describes the game (despite pairing it with a photo of ladder golf, which is a totally different game):

All you need are two poles (or sticks), beer bottles, and a frisbee. There are a few different game-play rules, but I like to play by these ones. One team throws the frisbee, and you get 3 points for hitting the bottle off the pole directly and 2 points for knocking the bottle off by hitting the pole. The defending team gets a point for catching the falling beer bottle, and if caught, throwing team gets nothing. Simple enough. Play to as many points as you want and add any amount of corresponding drinking to the points. You’ll be set for a nice summer afternoon.

There you have it. Sounds easy enough. Just don't ask one of our friends to explain the rules, apparently, and be sure to occupy a bear-like stance a la the Fletcher boys, above, and you should be good to go.

3. BAGS 

Stop calling this game Cornhole, everyone. It's annoying, does not sound like anything anyone wants to participate in, and is not what it is called in Chicago, where Matt is from, so it particularly grinds his midwestern gears to hear us East Coast idiots shout "Let's play some cohhhhnhole, kehd!"



Most of you have played this before and needn't an explanation. And as I don't care to pen one myself (I am horrible at explaining games, as you can blatantly see), I will instead direct you to playcornhole.org for official rules, including throwing distance and court maintenance, which you can see takes a huge precedence on our home court here in Dorchester.



Also, two points while we're on the Bags subject:

A. If you're in the market for a beautiful, hard-wood, handmade set of bags like I have here check out Mike Arndt on Etsy. He made these Sox/Sox boards for Matt for his birthday, and we absolutely love them. They also nest inside each other for convenient storage and travel, such as down to the cape for your summer Beer Olympics.

B. The reason it's often called Cornhole is because the bags are filled with corn. I know. I am an idiot for never realizing this before, but I found out the hard way: leaving the bags outside overnight to discover they had been stolen, ripped open, and generally destroyed by various urban wildlife, including a giant bird who brought one bag onto the garage roof and spilt its spoils for what seemed like a hundred other birds to enjoy with him. It was like a Stephen King movie. So, you've been warned. Store your bags inside.

4. Tricycle Races

Generally, if you can get your hands on any low-to-the ground vehicles such as a tricycle, small bike, Radio Flyer wagon or something, this game could be interesting. However, Courtney took a spill off a regular, adult-sized bicycle a few weeks back at Camp Sanchez, so I must encourage you to use your judgement when doing any sort of competition involving movement. This is your disclaimer.

5. Infinity FlipCup

We have yet to determine the rules that would constitute some sort of ongoing, winner-take-all flipcup game, but have decided we are up for the challenge. A quick Google search of "infinity flipcup" yields nothing but the below fantastic pic of FLIPADELPHIA fame, so we will have to report back with our initial findings on this potentially epic game variation.

6. Shallow Water Swim Challenge

See number four. This was added for artistic reasons/to take up space on the page only. I generally would discourage you from doing any swimming.

I left out the Quiet Nap Game, which is self-explanatory, and the running of the torch. This would be really good, actually, with sparklers. Whoever can get the furthest before their sparkler runs out, or a sparkler relay, could be a superb edition to your summer games.

So next time you're going to spend a day in the backyard or on the beach, why not shake up your usual routine and play a game or two?

Again, these are all meant mostly in jest and to encourage somewhat unhealthy competition. I am not responsible if you are a raging boozebag and/or a lightweight. Thank you.