Some things you should probably know about me:
1. I could eat pasta, with only butter and salt, probably every day.
2. I was the tomboyiest-tomboy for the first ten or so years of my life.
3. I am a product of the Porsche Sport Driving School in Alabama.
...Wait,
what?
That's right. Just butter and salt.
Oh. The Porsche thing?
Well, it was a special event for clients of my company, and it went so well the first time--at the Performance Driving two day class--that it resulted in us returning for the Masters course, which was even more intensive and hands on than its predecessor. I went over 120 MPH on a racetrack, and I loved every second of it.
So, naturally, when my boss approached me about another kind of car race, Car and Driver's 24 Hours of LeMons, in New Hampshire in May, I was definitely intrigued.
I was also rather apprehensive.
You see, LeMons is a spoof of the famous 24 Hours of Le Mans race, which (via Wikipedia) is: "the world's oldest active sports car race in endurance racing, held annually since 1923 near the town of Le Mans, France."
Except, this is with lemons.
Lemons, of course, being shitty cars. Your car cannot cost more than a base of $500 for body, engine and whatnot; you can then invest an unlimited amount in safety equipment, and are required to have a full roll cage installed and a five-point harness. These guys are serious about safety, and they should be; you can get a lot of yahoos on a racetrack if their only barrier to entry is a measly $500 bucks.
So, I signed up to drive despite my initial qualms. I decided it would be fun, I would have fun, and I have had a "just have fun" kind of mantra lately. So, with my flame retardent suit packed and Matty heading up the pit crew, team #48, the Mobile Maniacs, took on Loudon Annoying 2012.
In the long run, I should have heeded to my gut; I went a total of four laps around the track, managed to take out some cones, was black flagged (meaning come off the track and into the pits ASAP) as a result, somehow missed the pit lane entrance, had to go back around the track and was black flagged again for ignoring the first one, and was forced to complete a "punishment" for my team, who was wracking up black flags left and right that day. By the time I climbed out the window (doors were welded shut, natch) and peeled off my helmet, I could not control the stream of tears rushing down my cheeks. It was all too much, it was not any fun for me, and I was absolutely terrified of going back out onto that track.
Our punishment was to stand in a stockade for all to see for a half hour. Of course, one of us was allowed to drive while the rest of us completed this, and about three minutes after heading back onto the track, my CEO was black flagged for "contact" with another car. This time, we had to take all of the wheels off of our car and sit around it in lawn chairs for a while. It was, thankfully, our last black flag of the day.
The event continued on Sunday, and the guys on my team didn't guilt me in the least for my wish to stay on the sidelines. I enjoyed drinking beers, taking photos and being part of the pit crew just fine.
LeMons, itself, was awesome. The "punishments" for black flags were hilarious (including drivers having to fish their keys out of tubs of mayonaise for the "Cinco de mayo" penalty, or drivers being tied to each other three-legged-race style for hours), and the 70-something cars that came from far and wide to compete were just fucking incredible. Cars that were fire salvaged. Cars with mannequins perched atop their roof. Cars with props, like giant, fake sticks of dynamite or rotting teeth. One car that was enclosed inside a fucking camper (legit). Our spray-and-finger-painted little Geo Storm paled in comparison to some of these things; but it was our first rodeo. Next time, we will be prepared.
...And I will know my role as paint and prop girl from the get go.
Special thanks to my coworker Karen Langlie for this and some of these awesome photos.
...In the end, we came in 46th out of seventy-something cars, and our car miraculously lasted the whole weekend.
And, I can add "drove in a car race" to my list of little-known-facts.
So, I signed up to drive despite my initial qualms. I decided it would be fun, I would have fun, and I have had a "just have fun" kind of mantra lately. So, with my flame retardent suit packed and Matty heading up the pit crew, team #48, the Mobile Maniacs, took on Loudon Annoying 2012.
In the long run, I should have heeded to my gut; I went a total of four laps around the track, managed to take out some cones, was black flagged (meaning come off the track and into the pits ASAP) as a result, somehow missed the pit lane entrance, had to go back around the track and was black flagged again for ignoring the first one, and was forced to complete a "punishment" for my team, who was wracking up black flags left and right that day. By the time I climbed out the window (doors were welded shut, natch) and peeled off my helmet, I could not control the stream of tears rushing down my cheeks. It was all too much, it was not any fun for me, and I was absolutely terrified of going back out onto that track.
Our punishment was to stand in a stockade for all to see for a half hour. Of course, one of us was allowed to drive while the rest of us completed this, and about three minutes after heading back onto the track, my CEO was black flagged for "contact" with another car. This time, we had to take all of the wheels off of our car and sit around it in lawn chairs for a while. It was, thankfully, our last black flag of the day.
The event continued on Sunday, and the guys on my team didn't guilt me in the least for my wish to stay on the sidelines. I enjoyed drinking beers, taking photos and being part of the pit crew just fine.
LeMons, itself, was awesome. The "punishments" for black flags were hilarious (including drivers having to fish their keys out of tubs of mayonaise for the "Cinco de mayo" penalty, or drivers being tied to each other three-legged-race style for hours), and the 70-something cars that came from far and wide to compete were just fucking incredible. Cars that were fire salvaged. Cars with mannequins perched atop their roof. Cars with props, like giant, fake sticks of dynamite or rotting teeth. One car that was enclosed inside a fucking camper (legit). Our spray-and-finger-painted little Geo Storm paled in comparison to some of these things; but it was our first rodeo. Next time, we will be prepared.
...And I will know my role as paint and prop girl from the get go.
Special thanks to my coworker Karen Langlie for this and some of these awesome photos.
...In the end, we came in 46th out of seventy-something cars, and our car miraculously lasted the whole weekend.
And, I can add "drove in a car race" to my list of little-known-facts.
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